Guest opinion: Prioritize protecting children from hardcore pornography

This is a guest opinion column

Chart-topping indie pop singer Billie Eilish recently made a painful personal revelation: She became addicted to hardcore pornography when she was just 11 years old.

Eilish said the violence and abuse shown in pornography gave her nightmares and damaged her ability to form healthy romantic relationships. She called it “a disgrace” and noted her anger for once thinking pornography was acceptable because of its prevalence.

“I think it really destroyed my brain, and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn,” Eilish said.

Disgrace and devastation indeed. And lest you think Eilish’s experience is somehow the result of a decadent Hollywood lifestyle, please know that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

In my work as a family therapist, I get an unvarnished look into the homes — and lives — of people from all walks of life in Alabama. And, from this work, I can tell you the havoc created by pornography knows no boundaries when it comes to income level, race, or geography.

Pornography is an equal-opportunity family wrecking ball, and its impact on children is particularly alarming. Research shows:

• One in three children ages 9 to 17 reported online sexual interactions such as being asked for a nude image or video, being asked to go “on cam” with a nude or sexually explicit stream, or being sent sexually explicit messages.
• Pornography use negatively impacts academic performance, and low academic performance among adolescents is linked with poor social skills, aggressive behavior, and earlier sexual intercourse.
• Sending and receiving sexual texts are significantly associated with pornography use among boys and girls.

Even more alarming, nurses at Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City are documenting links between pornography and the trend of children sexually assaulting other children, often with physical violence, and with many of the perpetrators only 11 to 15 years old.

Nurses there said young perpetrators have clearly told them they’ve watched pornography and acted it out on someone else.

This crisis demands our urgent action. And while the problem is far-reaching, there are sensible steps we can take immediately to start making a dent in this challenge.

For starters, with more than half of American children owning a smartphone by age 11, we can take advantage of existing tools to restrict access to pornography on digital devices.

To that end, our legislature is working on a bill by state Rep. Chris Sells that would require the makers of smartphones and tablets to have adult content filters default to the “on” setting when devices are first activated, rather than have the filter default “off” as it is now.

This common-sense approach will empower parents as they desperately try to keep up with always changing, and often confusing, technologies that have become deeply integrated into modern life.

To be clear, adult content filters are built in to Android and Apple devices already, so this won’t require something new. We’re just asking for phones and tablets to prioritize child protection.

The stakes are high. As Rene McCreary of the Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault told KSHB News, “Pornography is different today than it used to be. So, 80 percent of the 15 most-viewed films portray women being hit, spit on, kicked, called degrading names. The kinds of behaviors we wouldn’t want our children, or anyone, to act in. Pornography has become more violent.”

When our kids are in danger, we don’t wait. We do all we can to prevent the kind of pain and suffering that comes with terrible, long-lasting consequences.

So let’s get started on this together. Ask your state legislators to do the right thing to protect children from pornography by requiring device filters to default to safety.

Small step. Big impact.

Melea Stephens is a practicing marriage and family therapist in Birmingham and a board member of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation.