April 13, 2024


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‘Gutfeld!’ on Biden and the media

This is a rush transcript of “Gutfeld!” on December 7, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Stop. Happy Tuesday my friendly friends in friendsville. Breaking news to report. Did you know what’s destroying America? Adjectives. Yes, it’s true. Words like cruel, rough, sharp, gentle, sleek, slippery. Sounds like last night and hammers hot tub. Anyway, adjectives are bad, which is also an adjective. So how bad is bad? Sorry.

Well, Dana Milbank, some old crank from the Washington Post commissioned a report that counted adjectives in the coverage of our last two presidents. And he found that Joe is the target of way more negative words than the previous president, who you remember the evil orange monster from Planet Hitler. So what’s the proof? Milbank actually had a firm count adjectives in articles comparing what Biden received in the first 11 months of 2021 to Trump in the first 11 months of 2020.

They call this sentiment analysis. Hmm. The authorities did the same thing to my diary after I burned down that men’s big and tall store. The conclusion, the media is meaner to Joe than Trump. That makes about as much sense as a chicken in a thong. It’s like me at a wet market selling bad nachos. No one should buy it. Still, according to the firm’s V.P., the media are serving as accessories to the murder of democracy.

And those murder weapons are adjectives. So in short, a bias writer at a bias paper commissioned a biased firm to study media bias and surprise he thinks the media is biased against Joe Biden. How convenient. Here’s Milbank, regurgitating the data on CNN.


DANA MILBANK, COLUMNIST, THE WASHINGTON POST: The last four months, however, Biden has been at where Donald Trump was or lower than where Donald Trump is, in terms of media sentiment. I mean, it’s not bias. It’s the actual words we’re using. So we are as negative as a collective media on Joe Biden, if not more so, than we were to Donald Trump at a time when he was trying to overthrow democracy.

And I think that’s a tremendous indictment of our whole industry. You know, it’s not foolproof, but it gives a pretty good number and we never had such a number before.


GUTFELD: Yes, they never had such a number before. Because this is the first time you did it. And you were the one who commissioned it. What a circle of jerks. So as usual, the media’s lies are like Stelter’s man boobs. They just keep getting bigger and bigger. And this analysis has more holes in it than the ceiling of the spare room that I rent out to college students. I’m dressing this thing up.

It’s obvious to anyone alive the past five years that the media is treatment of Trump was way worse, with or without adjectives. They are obsessed with Trump and they still can’t let him go. No one’s asking Alec Baldwin to do a Biden impersonation. Although no one’s asking Alec anything unless they’re behind bulletproof glass. Looks great, though. For example, only 19 percent of Biden’s first 60 days have been negative.

Impressive when you consider he was unconscious for 50 of them. Now that rank best among presidents of the last three decades. Trump’s for 60 days received a 62 percent negative rating. The fact is the press didn’t just report on Trump, they led the resistance covering every protest and every March, Trump was treated worse than Charlie Sheen at a blood bank. Pretty good. But you should — you should — you should already know this. And if you don’t, you’re probably some drunk guy and underwear dancing on a bar counter.



GUTFELD: Nice try. Now Milbank claims the media was very kind to Biden until August, then something happened. What could it be?


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Afghans scrambling to get out clinging to the side of a U.S. military plane. Where is the president? You know, why isn’t he communicating fulsomely to the American people?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They knew exactly what it took in order to accomplish this mission and for some inexplicable reason. There was nothing but complacency and inaction and in the end ineptitude.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It is just a picture desperation of failure as well, failure to protect our allies, failure to plan for this eventuality.


GUTFELD: So that’s what happened. Of course, Milbank sees the downturn as evil bias when in reality the media could no longer cover for Biden’s wrinkled. But since the public could see his incompetence with their own eyes, there was no spin between the Afghan disaster and the viewer. The implosion was right there for all to see, but what Milbank twists as media bias is a somber realization that the horse they backed broke its ankle going into the first turn, and is too old to put out to stud.

It used to be they could cover for Joe. Literally, they let him live in a basement like a millennial with a liberal arts degree. While he was running for president we only heard from him when Dr. Jill went down to do laundry. He was the first to campaign standing next to a washer dryer in a litter box. And then when that story about his laptop came out, they buried it faster than the guy in the trunk of Henry Hill’s car. A good fellow’s reference.

And speaking of Hunter, because no one really is. This week, the White House flag the art industry as a corrupt enterprise due to lack of transparency, and unpredictable pricing. Meaning that you could charge someone hundreds of thousands of dollars for crappy art and get away with it. So what does that sound like to you? Yes. The White House is blasting art industry corruption as they allow Hunter to sell his artwork to anonymous buyers for a half million.

Why is it that a story? Doesn’t have too many adjectives? Sleazy, gross, infantile, coke fueled? All of the above? But it’s just another cover up just like all the others. And remember the institutions that swayed the election, actually bragged about it in Time Magazine as tech, the media and other groups came together to drag Old Joe across the finish line. That meant not reporting on the riots and the rising crime denouncing any mention of the Hunter laptop or the big guys links to China. I wonder what the President has to say.


TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Look, look, everybody knows the press is tough on me, right? They certainly don’t cozy up to me the way they did my predecessor. I’ll tell you that. But we got a good team. We fight back. Ron Klain, bring the pain. Jen Psaki, circle Becky. I know how to fight. All right? You come at me, I’ll take you down. I thought the Six Day War would go to my ear. That’s real. And I give her credit.

But without me that would have lasted seven, eight days minimum. That’s true. I’m serious. I’m not joking about that.


GUTFELD: So, the media is realized that they married a corpse and it’s starting to rot. But it’s not just Joe’s rotting. It’s the media. No one is buying their B.S. anymore, not even the left. So like newlyweds returning from Barbados, Milbank realizes the fun part is done and reality sets in. So he creates new B.S. to paper over the old B.S. But hey, maybe we need more soul searching.


MILBANK: I think we really need to do some soul searching and think about what it is we’re delivering to people. And I think the media consumer may, you know, should should look at what we’re saying with a grain of salt.


GUTFELD: We do. Sorry, Dana. To do any soul searching, first you need a soul and the will to search it. The media — the media has got neither or neither.


GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. He’s been on more film sets than cocaine and craft services. Actor, author of the book The Respondent and founder of the charity Children and Parents United, Greg Ellis. Her pronouns are you all and bless your hearts. Fox Business Network Anchor Dagen McDowell. She knits her old hair extensions in his sweaters for the poor. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. And nothing gets in his way except ceilings, door frames and shower curtain rods. My massive sidekick and the NWA World Television Champion again, Tyrus.

I don’t know where to start. Tyrus. Congrats. Did you win?

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Oh, I won. Yes, I won. And still — and still undisputed reigning, defending. Well, and you won.

GUTFELD: Yes. We all won together.

TYRUS: At one, we’re all winning.

GUTFELD: We’re all winning.

TYRUS: We’re just bunch of winners.

GUTFELD: We are a bunch of winners.

TYRUS: So let’s talk about the loosers.

GUTFELD: Let’s talk about the losers. All right. What do you think of this?

TYRUS: Well, I think it’s funny because the one was intended to get a result. Attack him, attack him. Throw stuff on the wall. He’s got to do something. But President Trump was just too smooth and too slick. I mean, everything any allegation, accusation that would get a book deal or some half a criminal chance to run for president in Iowa, they would do it. And they would go at him, go at him.

But while that was going on, there was these good deeds happening. Our border was secure. Our economy was up. We had jobs, we had opportunities. Now, they’re doing The Truman Show with President Biden.


TIMPF: And we’ve already seen the movie.


TYRUS: You can’t trick us.

GUTFELD: That is a great point from the young championship wrestler. Dagen.

TYRUS: Surprise. It’s almost an oxymoron. But it just work that way. Yes. I said that word big, right?

GUTFELD: I love — I love how this guy Milbank keeps saying that like, it’s not fair because, you know, Trump was trying to overthrow democracy and all Biden was like screw up the economy or something. He was like, it’s such a bizarre way of creating a story.

DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK ANCHOR: I think that kind of the media banding together to ensure that one party always wins versus another is kind of anti-democracy.


MCDOWELL: Or, you know, it’s anti-democracy communism and Joe Biden gets through like Tommy Squiggles every time he’s like, even on a Zoom call with (INAUDIBLE)


MCDOWELL: So I think that’s kind of more of a danger to democracy. But these media grifters are the ones who sold this squinty cracked garden home to the American people. And so there — they got a butt rash anytime anybody criticizes him.


MCDOWELL: Because admitting his failures is admitting their own and you brought up Hunter Biden. I can’t for the life of me figure out there was like a bunch of New York Times reporters who — for a year, all they did was go through Trump’s financial documents.


MCDOWELL: And his tax returns. They don’t want to be on the Hunter Biden be, learning to work — learning to work a pole.


MCDOWELL: It blow some paint and like, get to the bottom of, what does it take to get kicked out of the Chateau Marmont?


GUTFELD: You know, it’s — you’re absolutely right. You’re right. You know what? And I’m also glad — I’m glad the word you used after blow was paint. Because I think we all felt that it might have been gone —

TYRUS: Stop. No, no.



GUTFELD: I will say this —


GUTFELD: But if I were a journalist, I would love to follow Hunter Biden around thinking that you can take —


TYRUS: You’re the king of comedy, we got it, we’re on the mountain. Don’t do it.

GUTFELD: But you can follow — you can expense strip clubs.

TYRUS: Yes. Do something.


GUTFELD: You can’t do that in real life.

TIMPF: They’ll fix it in post.

GUTFELD: Yes. Greg, what did you make of this incredible research? Counting adjectives?

GREG ELLIS, AUTHOR, THE RESPONDENT: Well, first of all, I think I counted 369 adjectives in your monologue.


ELLIS: Look, I think you know, this gallows, tonal policing of what’s going on is, it’s just indicative of this division. There’s no bipartisanship anymore. I mean, it just before I came on air a couple hours ago, I talked with Representative Rodney Creech in Ohio who’s passing the first, we just dropped onto the floor, the first equal shared parenting bill in Ohio which is following Kentucky and Arkansas.

These are the kinds of bills that need to be furthered. Normally, these kinds of bills are co-sponsored by about 15 people, the 58 cosponsors on this bill and those kinds of policies and laws at the — at the state level on a local level, that’s what we need to be focusing on and bipartisanship and I don’t see too much of that from this president who’s a Catholic, he’s a father and a family man.

If you really cared about families, he’d be — he really get into passing this kind of legislation that really helps children and parents across America.

GUTFELD: He can’t — there’s only a few things he can pass.

TYRUS: Oops.

TIMPF: There you go.

GUTFELD: I did not —

ELLIS: I (INAUDIBLE) you hit the driver.

GUTFELD: But you know what, I’m not going to — I’m not going to — I’m not going to complete the sentence.

TYRUS: You can’t resist.



GUTFELD: I’m not going to complete the sentence. See? I’ve grown up. I’ve listened to the advice. I’m no longer doing fart poop or butt joke.

ELLIS: Oh, we’re back there.

GUTFELD: So Kat, what do you make of this, you know, it was a slow news day.

TIMPF: Excellent question, Greg. Look, I don’t — It’s not that I don’t trust data. I don’t trust someone being like, oh, well, because data.


TIMPF: Because a lot of times it’s (BLEEP) I looked at the actual stories that one of the ones that was, you know, they were judging to attribute what the media’s tone is about Joe Biden. The headline was Haiti President assassinated at home, wife wounded. So I don’t doubt that there were many negative adjectives used to describe that sequence of events.


TIMPF: But I don’t know what it has to do with Joe Biden.

GUTFELD: Right. Oh, that — they actually use that one.

TIMPF: Yes. It has nothing to show, it’s, you know, a lot of people who actually know what they’re talking about with, you know, data and analysis and technology. They’re saying this was bad. So I trust them more than me. But this doesn’t make sense to anyone who has a human brain. But also you look at it, you could just say data. It’s like how the science people do it.


TIMPF: Use the science words and you’re like, oh, they must be smarter than I am. And I just don’t understand, the data people do the same thing.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. So he created the — he had the idea, fulfill the idea with the data that he created himself by having somebody count adjectives, and the guy who counted him said this is —


TIMPF: There’s so many more ways to be mean to people than an adjective.

GUTFELD: Yes, that is true.

TIMPF: You know, like just — the things that they did not cover about Biden that they would have covered about Trump.

ELLIS: That words of violence though.

TIMPF: Words of violence?

GUTFELD: Words of violence.

ELLIS: That’s what I’m told.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. All right. Up next, why they turn the cops away from there (INAUDIBLE)


GUTFELD: They let you shoot up in the street, but they still won’t let the cops eat. And there’s no such thing as smash and grab, say dumb politicians who like to gab. A San Francisco restaurant, aren’t they all? Has apologized for refusing to serve three on duty police officers last week. On duty. Isn’t everyone in S.F. on duty?

TYRUS: Brahma is broken.

GUTFELD: Brahma is broken. Poop joke. I’m proud of that one. Now at first the owner of Hilda and Jesse, the restaurant says the cops were asked to leave because staffers didn’t like them carrying firearms. Because as, you know, in S.F. only the criminals are supposed to be armed.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It’s not about the fact that we are anti-police, it is about the fact that we do not allow weapons in our restaurant. We were uncomfortable and so we politely asked them to leave.


GUTFELD: What about knives? How do you cut your ? whatever, waffle? But after they were bombarded with one star reviews the next day, the restaurant said they made a mistake and that they’re _ggrateful to all members of the force” who work hard to keep us safe, especially during these challenging times. Yes. Even though these challenging times are probably the result of the policies they voted for.

The lesson, it’s easy to be woke until you have to run a business. Meanwhile, in Phillies, murders have hit an all-time high as of Monday, 521 homicides and that’s after an Eagles win. The D.A. Larry Krasner noted that violent crimes committed without guns are down. Wow. And sure someone gets killed every 16 hours, but you do get a cheesesteak for your final meal. And speaking of idiocy, AOC actually doubted that smash and grab robberies are happening across the country despite the actual visual evidence.

In a recent interview she said lots of allegations of organized retail theft are not actually panning out. Obviously she couldn’t be more wrong. Even my dogs are turning to crime.



GUTFELD: Disgusting. And they’ll get to get away with it because their dogs. You know, Dagen, I think that the restaurant doesn’t understand the reality of running an actual business because they’re an all-day breakfast for gay people of color. I don’t know, BIPOC, what’s BIPOC? Is that what is it, BICOP?

TIMPF: No, it’s not.

TYRUS: I don’t really ? I just ?

TYRUS: It’s like black indigenous people of color.

GUTFELD: There you go. So ?

TIMPF: I’m sure some of them are gay.

GUTFELD: My point is, no one’s going to loot in all-day breakfast cafe. What are you going to get? A bagel and a ? I mean ?


TIMPF: — specifically bisexual people.

GUTFELD: I would go there. I would frequent that restaurant, Kat. How dare you laugh and I ?


TIMPF: — so confidently and on television.



ELLIS: You wouldn’t need a card to get it, you will need to prove that you are bisexual.

GUTFELD: Oh, I’ll prove it right now.

ELLIS: Do it, man. Do it.

GUTFELD: I’ll prove it right now. Let’s do it.

TIMPF: We’re on (INAUDIBLE) prove it.

GUTFELD: All right. I had a question for you, Dagen. My point is, it’s easy not to have cops at your — at your place. If you don’t need cops and then you need them and then I don’t know where I’m going at this point.

MCDOWELL: I don’t know why anybody would open a restaurant in San Francisco. I live there and it’s like, you might down some food but then you have to essentially go for a little paddle in a cesspool when you walk out of the door. So, I don’t know how. Well, I guess you get repeat customers that way.


MCDOWELL: If you get ? never mind.



TYRUS: He gets sensitive when anyone else makes a poop joke.

GUTFELD: Don’t order the hot lemonade. What?

MCDOWELL: But ? oh, you should ?

GUTFELD: Delicacy (INAUDIBLE) all right.

MCDOWELL: You showed dogs though. My — there’s no way in these left-wing cities to defend yourself because you can’t carry a gun.


MCDOWELL: You cannot — the second amendment doesn’t exist. I’ve got these two dogs, these little fluffy white dogs, so I’m a racist of course.


MCDOWELL: And they got — they think everybody’s their friend at some drained mentally ill psychopath came up to me that one sunny Sunday morning threatening to rip both my arms off. And the dogs were like laughing at his ankle.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes. You know ?


GUTFELD: Dogs love Steve Doocy. So, Greg.


GUTFELD: I get the — I get — you’re — you are actually leaving, you’re leaving California.

ELLIS: There’s a good chance that that’s happening very soon. Yes. Getting out of the blue state.

GUTFELD: Yes. What do you ? I mean, do you think there’s any way to save these cities?

ELLIS: I don’t know. I mean, look, refusing to serve those who serve seems very strange to me. I don’t know if there is a way to save them. I think, you know, these fake hoaxes like AOC denying the reality of what’s going on, that’s become more prevalent.


ELLIS: You know, it’s like victim hoods become the new social currency as economy’s booming. I don’t know that we’re going to be able to save the states. But that’s the beauty of the states, there’s so many of them that people can leave.


ELLIS: And so many people are migrating away from California.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat.


GUTFELD: If AOC and Krasner believe that this is all a hoax. What if people like us participated in it? What if we started, you know, considering a life of crime, then would it be a hoax?

TIMPF: Sorry. (INAUDIBLE) I spent the whole day thinking that it was a brunch spot specifically for bisexual people of color.

GUTFELD: Well, I didn’t read the acronym. BICOP.

TIMPF: I just spent the whole day thinking that you’re like, I’m going to say this ? OK. But the AOC, no, it wouldn’t be a hoax because she does not like us.


TIMPF: So then it would be real.


TIMPF: And then it would be people on Fox News are the real criminals. And then she get a bunch of retweets.


TIMPF: But I just– she just stressed me. She has a French Bulldog.


TIMPF: Like a real woman of the people. Like I have a French Bulldog, but at least, you know, I’m like, hey, I’m a capitalist.

GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true. But you know, the dog doesn’t know. The dog doesn’t know that she’s a communist, or that you’re a capital.

TIMPF: The dog wouldn’t exist under communist.

GUTFELD: That’s true. Tryus?

TYRUS: I no longer think apologies if you make a video condemning and you sit there and your little iPhone and you go and we’re not comfortable with your guns in here. You’re not welcome. And then, no one’s eating here. We’re getting bad reviews. You don’t get to write a little letter. You got to go back on the video.


TYRUS: Hi. Remember me? Talking about (BLEEP) about the police. Just kidding.


TYRUS: You know, like this — it’s just like an easy way out. They — it has gotten so bad that I literally was in shock. The mayor of Chicago Lightfoot basically told the retailers they were asking for it.

GUTFELD: Right. Exactly.

TYRUS: In what world do we live in? They’re like we’re being assaulted. Robbed, destroyed. Well, how are you dressed?

GUTFELD: Exactly? Yes.

TYRUS: Were you asking for it?

GUTFELD: You shouldn’t go out like that.

TYRUS: In any other situation, that would have been horrible.


TYRUS: Deplorable.

GUTFELD: My mom used to say to me every night when I went out. What?

TYRUS: No, no. No, no, no, no, no.

GUTFELD: You’re going out in that? Yes.

TIMPF: No, no. I’m drinking. My times done. Drink.

GUTFELD: You don’t even know what I was going to say that I was wearing.

TIMPF: You got a pretty good idea ?


GUTFELD: Or not wearing for that matter. I was a free ? I was a free spirit back then.


GUTFELD: Let the wind — I let the wind hit every part.

TIMPF: There it is.


TYRUS: All right.



GUTFELD: Are we still on air? All right. Up next. In his final hour de Blasio exerts more stupid power.


GUTFELD: On his way out the door, Mayor Freak Face screws us some more. The useless stack of wet garbage known as Bill De Blasio blindsided millions on Monday when he announced, at the very last minute, the first in the nation COVID-19 vaccine mandate for private businesses.

And I’m just not talking about my private business like my nude massage tent in Times Square, which I will be there after the show. I’m talking restaurants, bars, and gyms. He made the announcement on local access TV.


BILL DE BLASIO, MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY: We in New York City have decided to use a preemptive strike, a vaccine mandate for private sector employers across the board. All private sector employers in New York City will be covered by this vaccine mandate as of December 27th.


GUTFELD: What a clown turd. December 27th. What impeccable timing, just five days before de Blasio is out and a new Mayor Eric Adams is sworn in. Adams’ spokesman says he’ll evaluate the mandate once he’s in office. But saying they’ll evaluate makes me feel about as secure as having Kat backing me up in a bar fight.

As for de Blasio, his final wish to destroy a once great city is coming true. From slashing police budgets and supporting weak on crime policies, to focusing on phony reforms at the expense of safety, de Blasio has turned the Big Apple into a rotting wasteland. It’s now the criminal’s world and we’re just living in it.

And so just days before leaving office, his final stab in the heart, this vaccine mandate, will destroy businesses that are barely hanging on as it is. It’s like you’re in intensive care and instead of treating you, he comes in with a pillow to smother you, and it’s not even a My Pillow.



GUTFELD: Greg, I am aware that you are perhaps moving to the state of New York. I want to make it clear that who is running for the governor of New York but Bill de Blasio. Does that change your mind?

ELLIS: I would ask him one question here, why did the protected need to be protected from the unprotected to — by forcing the unprotected to use the protection that didn’t protect the protected in the first place? That’s why I argue with condoms.

He seems he — I mean once you build a glittering blip the builder — I mean, he — how did he stumble into politics?

GUTFELD: Oh, you know what my theory is, any area where there’s a one party system, meaning that they’ve eradicated Republicans from all of these cities, that allows unfettered progressivism. There’s no brakes on this bus. So like you could get any — I mean you look at every city that’s (BLEEP) and it’s — because there are no Republicans there.

Even though — you can even — you get the worst — I’m drooling, the worst Republicans at least unique. You guys keep nodding at each other like there’s something wrong with —

TIMPF: That’s because we’re talking about you with our eyes.

ELLIS: Well, here’s the thing, Greg, if we — if we let them — on a serious note, if we — in a serious note, if we let — if we let them take away our rights during an emergency, they will continue to manufacture emergencies to take away more rights.

GUTFELD: That’s a very, very —

ELLIS: And you really have to be — you really have to be — you know, I told — I told you before I come from England. We don’t have free speech as in a constitution, and that’s something that I really admire about this great country that’s given me many opportunities.

GUTFELD: Kat, you hate America. What are your thoughts?

TIMPF: I told you I just hate the troops.

TYRUS: She married one, it was a joke.

TIMPF: I did. I did.

ELLIS: Isn’t she bisexual?

TIMPF: I married him.

TYRUS: Sure. For argument’s sake.

TIMPF: I married a straight male troop.

TYRUS: Thank you for your service, Kat.


TIMPF: Freedom’s not free. OK. No, I think this is — I completely agree with everything you said. I think it’s scary. I don’t know how you can possibly do this, how it can possibly be legal. I don’t know how any of the vaccine mandates can be possibly illegal. And I just loved that he’s — you know, and by love, I mean hate with a deep fiery — hate with a deep fiery passion.

He did this on MSNBC.


TIMPF: No press conference. He’s like, you know, I’m just going to do this in on MSNBC. I mean, this guy cannot suck more if he tried.

GUTFELD: Yes. Tyrus.

TYRUS: Well, it’s kind of a double-edged sword. One, I hope he runs on that as governor. Because that’s going to go over real well. But the bad side is, he was also auditioning for the network. So that’s what that was. So he’s —

GUTFELD: Interesting.

TYRUS: So then we got, well, all was it seven, 18 — what — whoever —

GUTFELD: Watches.

TYRUS: He’s trying to show him, look, I can really bring him in. I can get controversy because I’m — I don’t live here, but I mean, damn, if he’s doing those kinds of things, how is that going to help him run for governor? I think he knows that, so he’s trying to be like, hey, he’s trying to get a job over there. Apparently, there’s a lot of openings on left-wing media these days.


TYRUS: It’s probably —

GUTFELD: They should just flip their anchors. Everybody that’s getting fired from MSNBC, go to CNN. And everybody from CNN go to MSNBC.

TYRUS: But no matter what you do, both networks do not hire him.


TYRUS: No. I’m sorry. Hire him.

GUTFELD: He should be nine o’clock, replace Chris Cuomo. What do you think? How do the business owners feel from your — I mean — I mean about this? What — is this scary? Or is it not going to happen? Because the judge is going to stop this.

MCDOWELL: The universal reaction was (BLEEP) this guy, we’re not doing. And I am not exaggerating that I heard that from everybody I bumped into, text messages from my friends.

GUTFELD: A few nuns?

MCDOWELL: Yes. And then flash me. No, no. He — but he is this socialist Sasquatch, is a walking billboard against the burgeoning weed business in New York because if he became that irretrievably stupid from weed and eaten edibles, the only gummy I’m eating from this day forward is a Sour Patch Kid, because I don’t want to be that stupid.

GUTFELD: Yes, it’s true. God, if that’s what marijuana does, well, I’m being — I don’t know if that’s true, but —

MCDOWELL: Or he could be. I don’t know. You could answer this. Can you be a sadist and a masochist at the same time?

GUTFELD: It depends how much money you have.

MCDOWELL: OK. Is that so?

GUTFELD: Because they charge by the — well, anyway. Come by my tent later. OK? First one’s free. All right. I don’t know what I’m saying.

Coming up. She loved her literary delights, but then came the whites.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is racist.

GUTFELD: She was cool with free books until the wrong race gave them a look. A New York Times guest columnist expressed concerns about white people using her library books. Yes, the op-ed was titled, Is my little library contributing to the gentrification of my black neighborhood? Now, there’s a complaint you’ll only see in the New York Times.

Journalist, Erin Aubry Kaplan, who is black describes building a little free library box in her front yard. Cute, right? Creating a self-operated community exchange of books for neighbors and visitors and the occasional woodpecker.

And it all seemed to be going perfectly until a young white couple was spotted browsing the little library. Kaplan says the experience filled her with astonishment and resentment, quote, “What I resented was not the specific couple, it was their whiteness and my feelings of helplessness at not knowing how to maintain the integrity of a black space that I had created, “end quote. Sorry, “The library was my lawn. But for that moment, it became theirs.”

But it’s not the whole point of a library? Not that I know. I haven’t been to a library since the incident in the periodical section. I cleaned up after. The author was able to link this evil white couple to Jim Crow laws and burning crosses, all for looking at the books that she set out presumably for everyone to look at, except of course whitey. And that naturally got in the Times.

Just grab any topic even a tiny library and link it to racism and it pays. Then again, maybe she’s onto something. Maybe we need more specific libraries.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi. I’d like to check out some free books. No short guys? Cool. Hi, I’d like to check out some free — no comedians? Oh, no Italians. Oh, come on. This is anti-Italian discrimination.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I am sorry. It’s my writing.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, in that case, mamma Mia.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my God. That was Danny DeVito.


GUTFELD: Kat, next time why not just do a bird feeder? Just for blackbirds.

TIMPF: Might be hard to enforce that. I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean, I — assuming that this actually happened —


TIMPF: Which I’m not sure it actually happened like — imagine — because imagine being the couple and reading, like, if you’re out there, hit me up. I’d love to know how you feel. He was writing about like just feeling so horrible which like, look, I’m a white person, right? Like probably what happened is the woman was like, that’s cute and the guy was like, yes, all right, babe. Let’s go, and that was it.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

TIMPF: So, assuming this is real, I wonder how they feel, but I’m not so sure it’s real.

GUTFELD: Yes. You’re a white person of color.

TIMPF: No, I’m white.

GUTFELD: Yes, you are.

TIMPF: Look at me.

GUTFELD: Tyrus, maybe it would have helped if she put blacks only on the library. What? Why do you look at me that way? We’re short on time, you know.

TYRUS: I would just like to say —


TYRUS: I’m sorry. Some of us are (BLEEP) stupid.

GUTFELD: That’s it?

TYRUS: Our bad. Read away, whitey.


TYRUS: Sorry.

GUTFELD: You know, I think, Greg, that whenever I see these little free libraries, they just — the books are never any good. You — they’re like they’re trying to unload crappy books. And I mean that all people not just specific groups.

ELLIS: Well, my crappy library that I have at the — at the end of my driveway is actually quite a nice little library. It — you know, it degenerates over time when people take books. But you do this — I have a little library.

GUTFELD: You make me sick. You and your Britishness.

ELLIS: It’s a beautiful — it is a beautiful sound.


ELLIS: And hear the kids stop and get excited, and we — I don’t care what color they are. What do you do? We should be encouraging children to read books. I just imagine the editorial process for, you know, deciding to run that kind of piece that conversation. Like, how did you have that conversation?

TIMPF: Yes, because everyone was too scared to say it’s not good, because they don’t want to get called racist.

GUTFELD: Yes, but don’t — you had — the perfect — you can take — if you take column one any subject and column b racism, sexism, and put it together, you will be published in the New York Times. It gave me a great idea for framing somebody for murder. Somebody to death with a book and then put the book in your book — in the free library. And then some homeless guy will pick up the book, charge with murder.

MCDOWELL: Actually, the one point I was going to make —

GUTFELD: With that one?

MCDOWELL: My father — my father would say, only perverts and weirdoes give away free stuff in their front yard.


MCDOWELL: Why would you all people in your yard, on your lawn, on your grass you work so hard to manicure.

ELLIS: Just to be clear after that scurrilous. It’s — at the end of my yard — wow, OK. No giving. No giving this Christmas. Oh, you can be — wow, OK. Brutal.

TYRUS: Give them dollars.

TIMPF: I got those.

GUTFELD: We shall take a break.


GUTFELD: No more gum on your seats or overpriced candy to eat. According to a new study, roughly half of people who want to — went to the movies before the pandemic aren’t buying tickets anymore. The other half replied. Barely a bunch of reasons for the decline include fears about COVID, the hassle of getting to the theater, rundown accommodations, more streaming, the cost of concessions, and also the risk that the movie might star Seth Rogen.

All right. Greg, does this concern you at all as a — as a successful actor?

ELLIS: Yes, it does. I mean, I think theater going is dipped because of this new brand of soda that’s’ selling Woka Cola. And that’s a tasteless and putrid, and everyone’s kind of over it. Now, I think, you know, movie studios should be more concerned of the quality of movies they’re making.

GUTFELD: That’s a great point.

ELLIS: And, you know, when I see someone like Seth Rogen, just slamming everyone who criticized his latest movie, because it wasn’t very good, and saying it’s white supremacy, again, it’s like, oh, can we —

GUTFELD: That’s right. That’s a funny story. Like he’s mad. The movie got two percent —

ELLIS: Yes, it was two percent —

GUTFELD: Two percent and it was like, that’s a white supremacist. I had nothing to do with it. Tyrus.

TYRUS: People aren’t going to the movies because of crime. You’re going to — everyone staying home. There’s nothing to do with the theater. They would love to take their family out to the movies. But while in the movie, they’re worried about what’s going to happen to their car, and they can’t call a cop anymore. Like there’s — you cut out the fun things when you can’t just be doing normal things.

And, of course, movies are suffering. So until we get those things fixed, you can’t take the fan to the movies. And it’s really sad.

ELLIS: I think you’re right. And I think, you know, I said this at the start the pandemic, the panic-demic, you know, America is great at selling fear. And there’s understandable fear and has been for some time and people, you know, socially distancing and staying at home and being isolated. And there is a lot of fear out there, understandably.

GUTFELD: You know what the other problem though is, Dagen, movies are too long. That Bond movie was three hours, three hours, that’s just too much. It could — I could have done that in 40 minutes.

MCDOWELL: And Daniel Craig looks like old cheese.

GUTFELD: Yes, he does. He does.

ELLIS: Does he has a — does he have a library at the end of his driveway though?

MCDOWELL: Probably, actually. If you — if I could watch a flick and booze it up, at Kat’s, I wake up on Kat’s sofa. If I watch a flick in a theater and booze it up, Kat leaves me there and my purse is gone.

GUTFELD: The lesson is, don’t hang around Kat.

TIMPF: No, but I am so fun.


ELLIS: Was that your fun face?

TIMPF: I know. I’m really fun. No matter what face I’m making, trust me.

GUTFELD: Like that face.

TIMPF: What’s up?

GUTFELD: You hate movies.

TIMPF: I hate going to the movie.

GUTFELD: No, you hate movie.

TIMPF: I hate movies because they’re long, and especially going to the movies because I, at least for me, find it impossible to adhere to the standard of behavior that is required to be in a movie theater, or the length of a movie.

TYRUS: Oh, come to a movie with me. We should go out.

GUTFELD: Yes, no one’s going to shush him, right? All right. I think I did that in under record time.

Don’t go away. We’ll be right back.


GUTFELD: Thanks to Dagen McDowell, Greg Ellis, Kat, Tyrus, studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next (INAUDIBLE). I love you, America.

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