‘Gutfeld!’ on incompetence and corruption in media

This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” December 3, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Happy Friday, my magical friends in T.V. land. What a great show we have in store for you. Look who’s here. Dana Perino. Yes.Yes. Her new puppy Percy has been on the channel so much you think he’s got a book out. I wonder what Percy could be thinking.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I love my mom. But I really just want to stay home and chew and stuff behind your back. (INAUDIBLE) knowing I was going to get dragged around all day, I would have stayed with that homeless guy. At least he sticks to one corner.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Also Kat’s here. It’s Friday. So, you know what that means. For one hour, your medicine cabinet is safe. Now, tonight’s monologue is surprised about the media. And get this, the, angle is how stupid they are. I’m nothing if not unpredictable. But their stupidity is so rich. Joe Biden wants to tax it. Case in point check out this tweet from this lonely hack from The Daily Beast who pretended a joke question I did on “THE FIVE” was actually real.

It was a parody multiple choice question where I asked, is Joe Biden a racist with blood on his hands? The answer is A, yes, B, of course, C, A and B, D, all of the above. Now if you can’t see that it’s a joke. THE VIEW is looking for a new cast member and you should audition immediately. Anyway, this idiocy snagged in another sucker. Brian Klaas, a professor who tweets I’ve lived in several authoritarian regimes.

And this is more blatant. And over the top than many of the state media propaganda networks in those countries. Wait a humble brag about living in Canada. But you always right, it was blatant and over the top which is usually a sign that it’s a joke, you dumbass. Here’s another lefty with stage four cancer of the funny bone. These people couldn’t spell funny if you gave them the F.U.

Anyway, that guy is a columnist for the Washington Post. So no wonder you couldn’t tell the difference between parody and reality. When lefties spend all their time around other lefties, they don’t need to. They just agree with their own feverish fantasies. And there’s no one there to apply the brakes. Here’s a Huffington Post headline. Fox News’ Jokey, Joe Biden graphic isn’t funny at all. Greg Gutfeld introduced a mock survey question on “THE FIVE” that went too far.

Yes, it went too far. Says a listicle junk site that spends endless space labeling half of America bigots and murderers. My phony quiz directly mock their hysteria, but it flew over their heads like Dana trying to feel the ground ball. Because it’s on the ground over her head. But this clues, this is not a bug in the system. It’s the system itself. For example, have you noticed how the media is handling the Jussie Smollett case?

It’s getting less coverage than Brian Stelter wearing a Speedo. I want that image in your head all weekend. Apparently, there’s tape of Smollett doing a dry run of the hoax. Hell, he didn’t rehearse that much for an episode of empire. But that’s big news. And you’ll only hear about it here. And why is that? It’s because how can you revisit a story that already made you look like an ass?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is a horrible story, no matter what kind of attack or crime it was, but so shaken by the story. I forgot. I know he walked himself to the hospital. Do we know how he is now?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don’t believe Jussie is making this up.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don’t like that it’s being put out there in the media that this is a possible crime. That even sews a seed that makes people feel out, well, is he making this up? What is this about right? I don’t like them.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The media has really cast so much doubt on his story, which I find so personally offensive, that a gay black man is targeted and then suddenly he becomes the victim of people’s disbelief.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He said his attackers hurled racial and homophobic slurs at him. This is America in 2019.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That’s America in 2019 if you work at CNN (BLEEP) it’s not America, it’s not America at all. It’s amazing they all fell for Smollett the way Dana fell for David Hasselhoff in the 80s. Very, very hard. And they continue to distort the case.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tonight on the Chess News Network.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Peter Pon here for the Chest News Network, David Brooks has been suspended for reporting the truth. We’re outside the trial of Jussie Smollett. Hoping to talk to somebody from the inside. Oh, it looks like one of the jurors is here now. Sir, sir, sir. As one of the jurors, how racist is the jury?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I’m not a juror.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, one of the jurors hiding their identity. So how long have you been a white supremacist?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I didn’t.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So just the judge then. I get wait. So — OK. So how incredible of an actor is Jussie Smollett?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don’t know. I’m not familiar —

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Have you seen Mighty Ducks?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, he is pretty good in that.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right, OK. So this case pulls a noose. Do you think we’re going to have a hung jury?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You’re an idiot.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Anyway, it’s pronounced journalist. The latest from the trial back to you, Odin.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Thank you. All right. Got to be honest. It’s tough to come back from such fake news and then report the real story because then you have to admit how stupid you are reporting the fake news. The media should call in sick on April Fool’s Day. So the press is now like all your relatives who voted for Biden because they said Trump was the worst president in history. And now lately, they just don’t want to talk politics.

That Daily Beast tweet is an analogy for the media embrace of all things fake, because they want it so bad to be true. It’s how I got catfished by that guy pretending to be Dr. Oz. To think I let him examine me. In a van. Didn’t call. And because they live in a bubble no one will tell them how dumb they are so they continue falling for the jokes and the hoaxes. Remember how Trump overfed those fish at the koi pod?

Remember him injecting bleach? Remember the fine people hoax? The dossier? Remember how Trump kissed a baby while campaigning then proceeded to pump the brat into the crowd. I made that went up because we know the media would still find it believable. All these were manufactured phantoms that the media amplified. Then when it turned out they were wrong. Their memory is suddenly worse than Joe Biden’s.

It’s why they can’t cover the biggest stories, like e-mails on Hunter’s laptop. The sitting president was laundering corruption from our largest enemy through his son. And we have texts, e-mails, photos, and suddenly they’re not curious because they went out of their way to pretend that story didn’t exist. In order to win an election. They said Smollett was real before they checked.

They thought Andrew Cuomo was God before they checked. They said Hunter’s laptop was fake before they checked. They do less due diligence than Kat on Tinder. Marriage hasn’t slowed her down. And because they get so much wrong eventually, they won’t be able to comment on anything that reminds us of their wrongness. Pretty soon all you’re going to hear on CNN is crickets.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, good. The crunch.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That was nice. See? It’s easy to track all of their mistakes. You just look at the stories not being reported. Those are the big stories they got wrong before. And so they intentionally misread things. No way they can get away with it. So just to check that you’re all listening. I leave you with a final question. Does the media intentionally avoid big stories because it exposes their incompetence and corruption?

A, yes. B, of course, C, A and B. D, all of the above? No to The Daily Beast. That question, not a joke.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. Her last name is Italian for I can’t reach the top shelf, America’s newsroom co-anchor and cohost of THE FIVE, Dana Perino. When voters want to turn right, they had West. Texas GOP Candidate for governor Allen West. He’s that king of tech, who’s given the woke hack. Author of the book, Woke Inc., Vivek Ramaswamy. And finally, for Christmas, all she wants is world peace and Vicodin. Lots and lots of biking in. Fox News Contributor, Kat Timpf.

GUTFELD: Dana, so the chart I did was actual parody. But then the DCCC which is — what is that?

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Iit’s the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. So they’re in charge of getting Democrats elected to the House.

GUTFELD: Yes. So they did a chart to show you how gas prices under Biden have dropped. Do we have that?

PERINO: Yes. It’s quite the remarkable twist of facts here. In fact, they lost everybody on this including the Washington Post.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Basically they made the Y-axis so long to make it look like two cents. It was a really big drop.

GUTFELD: You see that?

PERINO: And I — the statisticians, no, nobody could even believe this. So, if you’re a Democrat right now, and you’re thinking you want Joe Biden to win reelection, and you have allies like these, you might need to rethink something.

GUTFELD: It’s good. So this massive line, you’re seeing, this massive line you’re seeing going down like this is from like, one cent to two cents. That’s what they did.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Amazing. Anyway, I don’t know what the point was. But I like to — see, that’s taking —

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Well, and the other thing is — there was (INAUDIBLE) had written this tweet about how Biden had solved everything. And he was being sarcastic. They didn’t realize it was being sarcastic because then the DCCC is like, well, he actually has done something. And gas prices have gone down. If you look at the Y-axis.

GUTFELD: Amazing. Allen West running for governor. Awesome. That’s great.

ALLEN WEST, TEXAS GOP CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR: Thanks.

GUTFELD: So, in this monologue, I keep trying — I think I figured it out. Like how can the media report on a story if the story is a source of their constant embarrassment? Because then they always have to create the context like, hey, we were wrong. So is this — this could be the reason why we get so much fake news.

WEST: Well, without a doubt, and I think the thing is, they continue to be — what I call a self-licking ice cream cone. Where, you know, they have to continue to put out there this bad news, these fake news stories and what have you. And then when they do get confronted with truth, or even when they do get confronted with parody, like what you just talked about, when you read the Babylon B?

GUTFELD: Yes.

WEST: I mean, there’s so many times that they refer back to the Babylon B. And they say, well, maybe this was a real story.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WEST: I mean, they have completely lost all sense of reality and all sense of humor whatsoever, but they must come to understand. They’re now the target of our humor.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. It’s a nice reversal, the Dean warmer effect. Vivek, I want to bring you in on the woke angle, that the — reason this is why I think wokeism still exists among journalists, because it’s a safe area to do reporting for them. Like as long as they just play woke they could ignore all the other news.

VIVEK RAMASWAMY, AUTHOR, WOKE INC.: Yes, but there is — no way to be woke and be funny at the same time. I think we were talking about this before. You know, liberals used to be funny. Liberals use be funnier than conservatives because the funny side is the side that is able to talk about everything. And conservatives may have been prudish and they said, oh, we can’t talk about this or that. They weren’t the funny side.

Now, what woke Dem has done to liberalism is actually made liberals the side that have certain things they can’t say or they can’t talk about. And you can’t be funny when you have limits. And not only can’t you be funny, you apparently can’t even get jokes on the other side. So that’s why, you know, conservative comedians, I think we’re going to be funnier going forward.

GUTFELD: Yes. And it’s — that’s when you suddenly see the Huffington Post saying, he’s gone too far. That chart he did, that’s gone too far, Kat. Do you have sympathy at all for the people that are paid to watch our show? Like that — have to like find things and put them out of context. I always wonder what that’s like, the people that are doing this like they got to catch you, catch me or catch Dana doing something awful.

It’s easy with her because she’s got a mind in the gutter. He swears like a truck driver on amphetamines. It’s really disgusting. I don’t even know how THE FIVE stays afloat to be honest.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Are you done?

GUTFELD: Yes. Done.

TIMPF: All right.

GUTFELD: There was a question buried in that.

TIMPF: Yes, I think so. Somewhere. Look, it’s interesting because they do have to take things out of context. You know, it’s not the clip cut off right before Jessica responds. Making it clear. She sees it as a joke and joking along with you.

PERINO: Right. Yes. Yes.

TIMPF: So what’s truly disgusting, making a joke or purposely twisting what was a joke to try and destroy another person.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: That you’ve never met.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And I — but I did have fun reading all the replies. I mean, they really were great. Like, someone was like C and D are the same. You’re like no, A, B, C, A and D are the same which is the joke and then someone else was like, it’s a joke. And then someone replied to them saying that’s what a puppy murderer would say. People — and these were like real people with their faces and names on their accounts. And I was just like, man, I am smart.

PERINO: I had a reply, saying I expected more from you.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And that they thought that at least I would not would want to reject the hate. But that my need for hate is so great that I won’t correct Greg Gutfeld on THE FIVE.

GUTFELD: OH. You know, I’m going to — from now on I’m just doing nothing but fake questions. Because this is going to be so much fun. It’s like performance art. They do all the work for you. You — all you got to do is like throw a little pebble into the lake and you just watch it all like —

PERINO: And you get a monologue.

GUTFELD: And you get a monologue. On a Friday. I needed one too. My god. Slow news day. All right. Up next. Will toning down your fashion sense your best defense?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Well, criminals pull up enormous capers, all the courts can do is fill out papers. Meanwhile, our leaders advise we fortify our defenses as criminals face no consequences. And if you’re afraid you’ll get attacked by criminal scum. One bank says try dressing like a bum. L.A. police recently arrested 14 suspects involved in smash and grab robberies resulting in nearly 350 grand in stolen merch and 40 grand in property damage.

But all 14 are out on bail. Thanks to California’s zero bail policy or full idiot policy. Back in March, the California Supreme Court ruled that judges must consider a suspects ability to pay when setting bail prices. Because people who brutally mug innocent civilians and destroy businesses deserve your consideration. I mean, after stealing 900 bucks worth of goods, expecting them to pay bail it’s kind of insulting and probably racist.

After all they’re the victims and you’re the victimizer. You probably deserve that knife wound at Seth Rogen. Meanwhile, on this coast, senior execs at Bank of America are warning Junior staffers to dress down so they don’t get mugged in midtown Manhattan. That’s according to the New York Post, which is owned by our parent company, Kraft Singles. The execs are telling staffers that nice clothes makes them a target, especially when wearing anything with a Bank of America logo.

I guess looters might mistake you for an ATM. So crime has gotten so bad employers are now sounding like a mom from the 1950s. You know, if you go out in that short skirt, you’re just asking for it. As for the smash and grabbers, the city’s liberal D.A. insists the offenders will be held accountable, but don’t hold your breath. Well, unless you’re sitting next to Eric Swalwell. That’s the only time we support a masked mandate.

So Allen, this is crazy. It’s out — it’s like the leaders in California just shrug whenever they hear this stuff. And we’re seeing like, not just smash and grabs, we’re seeing home invasions. Yes. So let’s say you were the governor of California, would you say my hands are tied or what would you do?

WEST: Well, first of all, if I’m the governor of California, I’m going to shake myself out of that nightmare and the (INAUDIBLE) I’m in. You know, if you’re the governor of California, you should be on the side of the rule of law.

GUTFELD: Right.

WEST: But they’re not on the side of rule of law. And so what we see happening all across United States of America is an intentional and purposeful move by the progressive socialist left. Look at how George Soros has funded a lot of district attorney races to include in Texas. I mean, all of our major cities, and you look at the type of, you know, defunding the police and elevating the the criminals.

I mean, this is not something new. We saw it happened in Chicago nothing happened. We’ve seen a lot of it happening here. We saw the summer of discontent where they were burning down buildings looking at Portland. So I think the most important thing is not so much the governor and the elected officials. What are the people out in California finally going to do? I mean, do they want to live like this where they can’t go to stores?

They can’t walk home, they can’t be in a nice restaurant. And here in New York City, you can’t dress nice. Let me tell you something. Don’t come at me. While I’m up here in New York. If you think you’re going to take my boots off. I mean, we might have a little argument.

GUTFELD: I would like to see that. You know, Kat, this is really bad timing because I just bought you a case of Bank of America sweatshirts.

TIMPF: That’s what I wanted.

GUTFELD: Yes, I know.

TIMPF: Yes. It’s it seems like just a few short years ago we were reading stuff like our office dress code sexist. And now it’s like, you must come to work looking poor.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Or else you will be violently assaulted and mugged. I think it’s really sad because again, nobody wears nice clothes because they want to sit in them at home. They don’t buy them for that.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: And at some point, you think that you look for a solution to the problem rather than rather than saying like, oh, this is fine. You just have to come into the office looking like you have bedbugs.

GUTFELD: Rght. Exactly. You want to look worse than the mugger. You want to look worse than the homeless guy, the mentally ill homeless guy so he doesn’t come at you. You want him to look at you and go, oh, gross.

TIMPF: Exactly.

GUTFELD: Which happens. That’s why Kilmeade never gets mugged. Just disgusting how he dresses. Vivek, whenever I look at you, I always think of wokeism because you’re the expert in this. I think a lot of this has to do with redefining law and order as something that is a racist, then that — in the woke kind of ideology to be pro police is to be a bigot.

RAMASWAMY: Totally. I mean, when I look at the decline of California and cities across this country to look like third world nations, that is the face of woke supremacy. The problem is not white supremacy, it is woke supremacy. And by the way, it’s not just the Bank of America isn’t — is just taking the problem for granted. They’re contributing to it. Earlier this year they train their employees on how American capitalism that system is racist.

That’s the same Bank of America that now has to quietly whisper to their employees. Oh, by the way, don’t dress too well or don’t wear Bank of America because they might actually rob you.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RAMASWAMY: They’re funding this stuff. And I think this ultimate like a BLM fantasy come true, where actually what’s going to have to happen is that stores like a — like a Jewish family over Passover is going to have to put the Passover sign, which is actually a BLM sign on the front door to be able to say not because you actually believe anything of what it stands for. But because that just might be your only way not to get robbed anymore.

GUTFELD: Right.

RAMASWAMY: That’s the state of woke supremacy in this country and Bank of America, it’s subsidizing it. So I don’t want to say shame on them, and they got what they deserve. But kind of they got what they deserve.

GUTFELD: Yes, it’s funny. It’s like what you’re saying is they actually did create real virtue signals. You literally have to put a virtue signal up on your door to keep from being attacked or or looted.

RAMASWAMY: Yes, and the problem with signaling your virtue, Greg, is that at some point, signaling your virtue becomes more important than being virtuous itself.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RAMASWAMY: That’s what you’ve seen the banks in the city. That’s what you see across this woke industrial complex.

GUTFELD: I just — I just avoid both. I don’t virtue signal and I have no virtue. You know, Dana, in the greenroom, I couldn’t believe what you said. You were looking at the smash and grab and you’re going (BLEEP) why the hell am I buying crap? That’s what you said. You were like, you said you weren’t — I’m such a sucker. And that’s what you said. Why am I paying for (BLEEP) that’s what you — I heard you say that.

PERINO: You have an amazing memory for me and recall of what I said. Yes. There’s this old fashioned way to get stuff which is you go to work.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And you earn a paycheck. And then you make a decision like that you want to buy it. That’s the old fashioned way. The other thing about the vest, like the Bank of America best. So the virtue signaling thing is basically it’s — they’re eating each other.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: So, Patagonia now refuses to make the vest that are so popular for any sort of capitalist organization, right? Because the too many bankers were wearing the Patagonia vests and wearing them to —

GUTFELD: Right.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: — like their conventions and seminars, and their retreats. So now, I don’t know — that basically, I think Bank of America is saying to its staff, we’re not going to be able to buy those vests anymore because we’re capitalists. And they’re not going to make them for us. So that’s how that’s (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: Yes. And also the vest like once Younkin one wearing that vest it’s like —

PERINO: You can’t wear the vest anymore.

GUTFELD: You can’t wear the vest anymore.

RAMASWAMY: I’m taking off my vest.

GUTFELD: Yes. There you go. There you go.

RAMASWAMY: Done.

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, there’s a joke in there, but I forgot what it was. Yes, it’s gone. All right. He blamed what he’d done on a magically misfiring gun.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Baldwin took aim but he won’t take the blame. He claims he didn’t shoot but the logic does not compute. So, Alec Baldwin was interviewed by his pal, George Stephanopoulos, a man whose name is longer than his inseam. Dana thought that was funny. Short people laughing at short jokes is the best. I find it funny too. It wasn’t the first time we’ve heard from Baldwin since the fatal accident on the set of his movie “Rust,” but it was the first time he claimed that he didn’t pull the trigger.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, NBC HOST: It wasn’t in the script for the trigger to be pulled.

ALEC BALDWIN, ACTOR: Well, the trigger wasn’t pulled. I didn’t pull the trigger.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So, you never pulled the trigger.

BALDWIN: No, no, no, no, no, I would never point a gun at anyone and pull a trigger at them never. That was the training that I had. You don’t point a gun and pull the trigger.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wow, that’s amazing with the music. All right, now, I’m no gun expert. But for a gun to fire, typically someone has to pull the trigger, right? I mean, it would be weird for a gun to decide to shoot on its own. That’s like an SUV, you know, deciding to drive into a crowd. Great job challenging him on that one, George. So, if you’re not to blame, then who, Alec?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BALDWIN: Everything is in her direction. She’s guiding me through how she wants me to hold the gun for this angle.

STEPHANOPOULOS: There are some who say you’re never supposed to point a gun at anyone on a set no matter what.

BALDWIN: Unless the person is the cinematographer who’s directing me where to point the gun for her camera angle.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Do you feel guilt?

BALDWIN: No, no. I feel that there is, I feel that, that, that someone is responsible for what happened. And I can’t say who that is, but I know it’s not me. I mean, I honest to God, if I felt that I was responsible, I might have killed myself.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Hmm. So, there you have it. Now it’s the lady’s fault for directing him to point the gun and yes, he never pulled the trigger. Now, imagine if they by that defense, how many more lawyers are going to defend killers by saying but the gun it just went off? But in this day and age where the media tells us that it was an SUV who killed innocent people in a parade, it seems natural now to just blame the object. It’s not people who kill people. It’s guns. It’s cars, skateboards, rocks, but people they have nothing to do with it. Well, unless they’re Republican.

All right. Allen, you have the most expertise in the realm of firearms. In your best, like trying to try to steal man his argument? Is it possible what he’s saying is true?

ALLEN WEST (R), TEXAS GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE: No, it’s absolutely not possible. And I’ve been, you know, handling and firing guns since I was in high school, with the Junior ROTC doing 22. And of course, being in combat and I continue to fire weapons. I was a former member of the Board of Directors for the National Rifle Association, everything that he said is absolutely wrong. And a gun is an inanimate object.

A gun cannot do anything until there’s an interaction with a person that operates that gun. And when you listen to that full interview, where he talked about “I didn’t pull the trigger,” but yet I pull the hammer back. And when I release the hammer, well guess what happens when you release the hammer on a firearm? That firing pin is going to enact with the cartridge and then the gun is going to go off.

Now, this is the other thing that they teach you in Gun Safety 101, you never point a firearm at another individual. If you’re at a firing range, you keep it up and down range. I mean, that’s just basic 101. So, even though he may have been directed to point this toward me, you never pointed toward a person. You say OK, let’s try to get the angle from this point right here, which brings me back to that prosecutor in the Kyle Rittenhouse case, who was there with that AR-15.

GUTFELD: Right and aimed —

WEST: Which is aiming at the jewelry with his finger on the trigger.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes.

WEST: I mean, that is a criminal offense.

GUTFELD: It’s amazing. You know, Dana, you grew up on a ranch. So, you’re obviously shooting many things.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Yes, everything I could see.

GUTFELD: Yes, anything you can see. It wasn’t even for food; it was just for pure bloodlust.

PERINO: And you wouldn’t believe the beer cans.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. And you still have to aim up.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Why didn’t Alec Baldwin say this in the first place? Because then everybody could say, oh my God — he like, that would if I didn’t pull the trigger, that would be the thing of the yelling and everybody would hear me

PERINO: This is — I was channeling my inner gut felt this morning. I was listening to NPR and there was a report about this and at the end, the reporter says, I believe that Alec Baldwin just provided a masterclass in how to explain himself with that advancing the story. And he, there’s no new questions raised. I’m like, what are you talking about? I was screaming at the media. And you know what really makes me mad. I defended him. I said, this is terrible. He must feel awful. I had so much empathy for him. And now he, he’s lying now —

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: That if this were true, he would have said it that first day when he was full of anguish, and everyone felt terrible for him. I really think it’s so much worse. And the whole music thing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Real news interview. It looks like you’re watching a true crime documentary.

GUTFELD: Right. Yes, it’s already happening. They like they’re doing the package before the body is still cold. It’s insane. But he also — I think they’re good friends. I mean, he got a pretty comfortable interview from George, what do you see in this? That’s interesting.

VIVEK RAMASWAMY, FOUNDER, ROIVANT SCIENCES: Yes. I mean, the interesting thing to me was it actually reminded me a lot of that Jussie Smollett interview, where the media is really just not doing their job. You’re supposed to be curious. As a journalist, you’re supposed to be probing, you’re probably not supposed to be giving softball interview questions to your friends. And look, I was in the camp, and I still am. That look, at the end of the day, I don’t love Alec Baldwin. This wasn’t his fault. Now, you couldn’t have done a worse job for something that wasn’t your fault?

GUTFELD: Right.

RAMASWAMY: Of showing complete callousness and lack of empathy? Did you get one mention of the person who actually died there? No, you didn’t hear that. In the interview, you hear about his own self-pity.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RAMASWAMY: But at the end of the day, it’s the job of the reporter to be able to actually press an important interview subject on matters that a journalist ought to press them on. And that was missing in Jussie Smollett, it’s missing in the case, it’s missing in the case of Alec Baldwin, it’s just missing in modern media today, which is in this old boys buddy club with one another. That’s ultimately advancing an agenda instead of actually getting to truth. George Stephanopoulos has revealed himself to be actually a joker of a journalist and the death of journalism is the worst part of it all.

GUTFELD: Yes, and possibly, Kat, the death of Alec Baldwin’s amazing film career, are you — will he be able to ever make a movie that will make you laugh or cry?

TIMPF: Well, that’s what I’m most concerned about.

GUTFELD: I can tell you’ve been very quiet through this whole segment.

TIMPF: I agree with Dana, because I actually felt bad for him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Like, how horrible, you know, to have this accident and someone dies. And then his first opportunity. He says the fault that — he blames the lady he killed Yes, for him killing her. Like, are you insane? Like the it’s hard to not feel you know, some sympathy for the situation, but you just pulled it off. I mean, because it’s not like she’s the one person who obviously can’t defend herself because he killed her. But also again, that the gun went off on itself, is it that’s — I mean, this has been a huge year for criminals.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Right? You can steal things.

GUTFELD: That should be Times Man of the Year.

TIMPF: Yes, yes, yes. And now, if I’m a murderer, I’m thinking, hell yes.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

TIMPF: But I’m not.

GUTFELD: No. That, we should do that. We should do that as a segment. Times Man of the Years as the criminal.

TIMPF: It’s criminals.

GUTFELD: I’ll forget it by tonight, though. Coming up, my one on one with Adam Carolla. He’ll steal the show-la.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: He’s harder to cancel than a subscription to that Web site your wife knows nothing about. He’ll bring down that house and then I’ll help you remodel it. He also won a Sexual Health and Entertainment Award in the year 2000, and it’s all been downhill since. Joining me now Radio Personality, Comedian, Actor and Host of the Adam Carolla show, and dare I say a living legend, Adam Carolla.

Adam, I always think you get short shrift. I don’t know if that’s the word in terms of creating the, the podcast world. Weren’t you basically the first person to figure out how to cancel proof yourself? Like you went off and did your own thing. You’re your own boss. You can say whatever you want.

ADAM CAROLLA, COMEDIAN AND PODCAST HOST: Yes, it was funny. I had somebody say to me, recently, they said, did you know, this was all coming when you started your podcast 13 years ago? And I said, no, I didn’t see any of this coming. And then I paused and I said, well, maybe I did, because that’s how I acted. And I guess I did you know, like an Indian, who puts his ear to the ground and feels something bad. This way cometh. I felt that way about our society about the way that we’re going to approach free speech and comedians. And I guess, I did try to become sort of autonomous, early on knowing this was coming.

GUTFELD: So, this is the difference between me and you. You can use the analogy of the Indian with his ear to the ground. But if I do it, I’m going to get fired.

CAROLLA: Well, maybe he was an Eastern Indian kid, and there is no stereotype.

GUTFELD: There you go. There you go. Do you — have you ever been nervous? Have you ever been nervous about being canceled? You know, it’s funny because now we’re living at a time where it feels like canceled culture is being over told. But it’s only because the reaction to it is, is basically the same strength as the threat. Did you ever feel like you were threatened?

CAROLLA: No, I’ve always worked and you know, I was a carpenter long before was a comedian and I learned from being a carpenter that if you were good, and you’re prompt, and you didn’t gouge except the elderly, I always gouge the elderly. They don’t have that much time on the planet. What do they need? Me and Jesus, we both gouge the elderly. A point is this: you wouldn’t work, if you were good, you would never stop working. I never advertised I never put leaflets on windshields, I never bought you know spots on basic cable. I was just a good carpenter and I worked. And I always kind of took that approach to comedy, be on time, show up, be funny, gouge the elderly and you will work in Hollywood.

GUTFELD: Now, in this as — this world has changed, do you find yourself? I don’t know, losing any kind of friends or you still have the same friends you have that have been going on 20 years? I don’t, I don’t see you as an active conservative. I always see you as somebody who’s maintained kind of the same tone and attitude as the world has changed around you. Do you find yourself increasingly isolated? Or do you still get along with the people you get along with?

CAROLLA: Well, I’ll put it to you this way, Gutfeld, people think I entered this van just to do a hit on your show. I live in this van. There’s a hot plate that’s just off camera. Once in a while, I bring a lady friend in. But generally, I’m so isolated. I’m in this van. Now look, the true friends, the real friends. I have real friends in Hollywood. And then there’s your Hollywood friends. Your Hollywood friends don’t tolerate any deviation from their pattern or their playlist or their dance card.

So, meaning, I can talk to Alec Baldwin on my podcast and I can also talk to Dinesh D’Souza on my podcast and that’s the way I’d like it. But there are certain groups that won’t tolerate me talking to Dinesh D’Souza so they will cut bait with me. By the way, these are the same hypocritical, bloviating blowhards, who never stopped railing against McCarthyism.

GUTFELD: Right.

CAROLLA: There’s a town that never stops talking about the evils of McCarthyism, who will gladly blackball you and remove you from your source of revenue if they could.

GUTFELD: Two things — one, just comment that I want to ask you about your new gig. You seem remarkably calm in any kind of — I say listen to your podcast all the time. You never get upset, which I always find really kind of admirable in the, in the, in the environment that you’re in. But you have a new thing now on The Daily Wire, that’s Ben Shapiro’s great operation. What is it?

CAROLLA: It’s called “Truth Yeller.” And it’s a series of six stand up specials. Once again, I sort of naively thought a few years ago, I would just shoot a stand up special and sell it to Netflix or sell it to HBO, or shall — sell it to one of the, sort of Legacy media companies. They have no interest in people like me, and what I have to say, so I needed to go somewhere and find a platform and I ran into The Daily Wire and I just dipped my chocolate into their peanut butter. And the rest is history.

GUTFELD: I’m so glad you said peanut butter. Adam, you’re awesome. Congrats! And I’m going to keep listening to you as long as you do work, I’m going to be, I’m going to be a happy customer. So, thanks for coming on.

CAROLLA: Thanks, Greg, I appreciate it.

GUTFELD: Holy smokes we got more jokes.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: “GREG’S LEFTOVERS.”

GUTFELD: Scariest part of my week. It’s the leftovers. The jokes we didn’t use this week, but now they get a second chance. As always, this is my first time reading them. So, here we go.

Journalists are being advised that it’s racist to refer to the wave of smash and grab thefts as looting. Now, you’re supposed to call it supply chain adjustments.

President Biden was seen ignoring mask wearing rules while at a Nantucket store. Customers, however, said they were more concerned about his lack of pants.

That’s all right, got to snort.

The trial of Jussie Smollett began this week, asked why they agreed to appear in a fake hate crime that was obviously staged. What are the Nigerian brothers said? Well, first of all, I fell in love with the script.

Disney-Plus appears to have removed “The Simpsons” episode in Hong Kong because it featured a joke about Tiananmen Square, leaving many to wonder, when did LeBron James get hired by Disney?

That’s pretty good.

The U.S. is apparently facing a shortage of Santas this year, which means if you want to sit on an old white guy’s lap and ask for free stuff, you’ll have to go to the White House.

That’s a good joke. Nice.

Authorities have traced one of the first Omicron infections to a man who caught it had an adult anime convention. You know what those are, Dana?

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Which tells us one thing, if it wasn’t trend — it was it transmitted female to male. Oh my. Oh, because there’s no women at the anime convention. That makes sense, I guess.

Passengers on a recent Delta Flight were outraged to see a fellow flyer breast feeding her hairless cats. Especially since all they got was warm water and crackers. Sickest story ever. I read it. I couldn’t even do it in the show. And I love stories like that. In response, Spirit air will allow passengers to breastfeed from a hairless cat.

In a recent interview, a legend actress Tori Spelling announced she’s replacing her current de-sized breasts with even larger implants. Her surgery is scheduled for February 27th, 28th and 29th. Why three? She had three breasts? Doctors described the giant new implants as size 90210-My- God. I don’t know enough about her body to enter —

A labor dispute has led to Major League Baseball’s first work stoppage since the mid-90s. And that’s not counting the 20 minutes between every pitch. It’s true. Kamala’s top aide says she’s leaving to pursue better employment options, like working as a septic tank cleaner. She has plenty of experience cleaning up (BLEEP). Top aide. There you go. You like a good swear word. Top aide to Kamala Harris, that sounds like something you’d leave off your resume or buried under something more prestigious, like Taco Bell night shift custodian.

Administration officials say, Senior Advisors, Simone Sanders will be gone by the end of the year. Although Dr. Fauci claims to be with us at least until 2035.

Alec Baldwin posted a bunch of selfies before his interview with George Stephanopoulos. Of course, they were selfies. He’s not going to stand in front of anyone and say point and shoot.

Finally, in a recent interview, Georgia gubernatorial run rep Stacey Abrams denied ever challenging the results of the state’s 2020 contest. Abrams also unveiled her 2024 campaign slogan four more years.

Don’t go away, we’ll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We’re out of time. Thanks to Dana Perino, Allen West, Vivek Ramaswamy, Adam Carolla, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Kevin Corke is next. I’m Madonna and I love you, America.

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